Disclaimer, this blog is no longer private. My parents, siblings, and closest friends are now able to access it. (They weren’t able to before) so if you’re reading my blog for the first time, and wondered why you’d never noticed it before, that is why!
Blog overload?! Sorry it was such a big moment. First I just wanted to get it out there, then I felt like I should reflect, but it was too soon. I had no feelings yet.
As I said in one of my first blogs, I never let myself go there. I didn’t cry, I didn’t wonder. And then one June afternoon, everything changed. Little did I know 11 months later, I would know almost everything. I’ve pieced together lies from all sides and now the story finally makes sense. And now I wish I hadn’t. All my life, literally for as long as I can remember, family, friends and strangers have asked me how I feel about being adopted. And for the first time in my life I feel something, and it wasn’t an emotion I was ready for.
I am angry.
I have an array of other feelings, but the most prominent, overwhelming, gut wrenching emotion I just can’t get over yet is pure betrayal.