The Unpublished Chapters

It feels good to be lost in the right direction.

Reflection

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Whoa! This last month and a half… I repeat whoa! I wouldn’t even know where to begin to dissect all that has happened, therefore I will probably just begin and see where my thoughts take me. I haven’t had much time to reflect on any of it so I apologize if I get distracted with any one thing.

First off, I am officially enlisted in the Army National Guard! Hooah! I am beyond excited, along with about a thousand other emotions I don’t care to vomit up right now. Just know that I am still 100% certain of my decision, but aside from that I haven’t digested it much.

But although it was a surreal experience to swear in, it wasn’t the most surreal thing that happened to me this last week. The day before my enlistment, I received an eagerly awaited letter from my birth mom. (The post before this has a video of the letter.) After I read the letter I cried. I cried like I haven’t cried in a long time. They weren’t tears of sorrow, they weren’t tears of joy. I believe the timing was just so absolutely overwhelming that I couldn’t handle much else. I didn’t know what to think, I still don’t. I’m quite suspicious, well almost certain that after I told my real mom I’d be enlisting in the Army, she called up my birth mom and said, “now or never. She’s moving on, and you owe her this.” Now like I said this is just a suspicion, but I love my real mom for doing it. 😉

I have so many more questions, I want to know so much more than she gave me, but I don’t know yet if I will write another letter. I have a lot on my mind at the moment. I want to meet her, probably after training. I think I need to spend my summer focused on my future. If it is in God’s plan it will work itself out. As my birth mother said, we will meet, someday.

I’m sure my emotions will continue to grow as I reflect more on this, but at the moment that’s all I can say, I haven’t any more thoughts on the topic. Which is so very strange…..

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Author: jamieerose

I'm a twentysomething walking through life, okay usually running through life, but I'd like to slow down just long enough to share in my experiences. I am currently writing 2 blogs. One is about my journey as I seek out my biological parents and the other is my adventure in the military. Enjoy :)

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